Well, my week has been lacking motivation. I gained my one pound back
that I lost last week. And I think most of that was because I didn't
get all my water down. I notice a big difference when I stay on track
with the water bag. So I vow to get back in the groove tomorrow and get
that level up again. I did try to take the dog for a walk this week but
because I have hills all around me, they did not do any favours for my
arthritic knees and so It takes days to get over the shock of it and they
are very painful. So I think I will get on the treadmill inside for a while
before I attempt climbing my little mountains outside.
The media plays up the tiny waiflike models as perfection, which I don't
subscribe to. A healthy body is what I need. But even when I was younger
and growing up there was always the distinction of being "slight" vs.being
a big boned girl. Which in my case meant that I grew to 5'7" by the time I
was 12. Today, no one thinks anything of it, but back in the 50's (yes I said
50's) I was extremely tall for a girl and towered over my peers. I was compared
to a relative constantly, who was waiflike by nature, and made to feel "BIG -
LARGED BONED - TALL" - a freak. So I grew up hating my stature and feeling very
self conscious about being tall. After all I stood out in the crowd. But I didn't
start putting on weight until after I got married. Pound by pound, I went to round.
I got pregnant with my first child and gained 34 lbs. Not too bad right? But I
never lost it! And each year 5 more lbs came on and I was pregnant a second time,
and again put on baby weight. But we only ever had one baby and I still kept number twos additional pounds. I tried every diet going. I had some success with
them all, reaching 45 lbs on one go, 38 lbs at another and so on and so on. And
adding another 10 lbs to the original weight I regained over time. What a yoyo
syndrome. Well, I have kept this enormous weight on me now for a good 10 years and
as a result-- diabetes, arthritis, and all the other complaints that go with weight.
Now I have grandchildren. My second chance to be a surrogate mother, while my
daughter works. Her surrogate mother was her grandmother, while I worked. But they
can run, especially the 3-1/2 year old who is the monkey of the two. And I can't
keep up! I want to have fun with them on a more physical level, and most importantly, I want this for me. The rest will come as a result of my goals. So I
have my meal plan mapped out, my water bottle in the fridge. And as I said in my title, I need a boot in the rear.
Today, I have resolved the fact that I am tall. In fact, it works to my advantage in
reaching high cupboards or shelves in the market. I need to resolve the weight issue. And by taking one day at a time and not worrying about my weekly weigh-in,
I know I can make it. So from today, I am not going to weigh in until September
23rd. To everyone, keep up the fight and we will get there together.